A Sharp Dressed Man
by bluepianos
Summary: The entire team is undercover on a mission, looking all glamorous and charming, but all Artemis wants to do is get rid of the very suit that's making Wally look particularly delicious tonight.


**Character/s**: Wally/Artemis, orig!team, Queen Perdita**  
Words**: 1,355**  
Disclaimer**: Maybe in the future, Weisman might consider doing an episode on this… HAH, who am I kidding, this stuff ain't allowed on Cartoon Network.**  
**

**Notes**: For **_thatonedeadgirl_** over on Tumblr, who requested a fic with ZZ Top's song _Sharp Dressed Man._

**A Sharp Dressed Man**

_Clean shirt, new shoes  
and I don't know where I am going to.  
Silk suit, black tie,  
I don't need a reason why._

It was the suit. It _had_ to be the suit.

They were supposed to lay low during the party. The key word of the mission tonight was_undercover_.

Artemis wasn't sure if her boyfriend was doing a very good job so far.

As per Wally's request, Batman had dispatched the team on a specific, quiet mission that night. It was Queen Perdita's thirteenth birthday and the royal court was throwing her a ball in a large five-star hotel in Paris called _La Renaissance_. An actual ball, complete with fancy dresses, expensive and exotic cuisine, and glamorous guests. Wally had been specially invited to attend as Kid Flash but Batman had taken the opportunity to send him and the rest of the team in as undercover security guards posing as special guests instead.

Ever since Wally had saved Princess-now-Queen Perdita from her ruthless uncle, the two had kept contact and had become fast friends. She was like the little sister Wally hadn't realised he'd always wanted and he'd come to care for her a lot – enough that he had revealed his secret identity to her some time ago.

When he showed up at the hotel with the rest of the team an hour and a half before the ball, Perdita had spotted him immediately and ran to give him a tight hug, which he willingly returned. Kaldur assigned Wally to stay close to the queen at all times and dispersed the rest of the team to their designated locations. M'gann and Rob were in charge of maintaining the second floor of the ballroom, occasionally making sweeps of the floor to make sure things were alright. Conner and Raquel were to hold the fort just outside the hotel in case any quick warnings needed to be radioed in and Artemis, Zatanna and Kaldur would take the first floor.

It had been two hours into the party and all was well, the only problems being a rather drunk aunt making something of a commotion near the fountain on the first floor.

_"_This is definitely one of our quieter jobs," Artemis muttered into her mouthpiece.

"You can say that again," Raquel replied. Conner grunted and Zatanna sighed in response.

"Perhaps a quiet job is just what we all need after the past few arduous missions," Kaldur argued calmly.

"Exactly! On the bright side, at least we get to have a bit of fun tonight," came M'gann's perky voice. Of course she'd take the opportunity to enjoy herself a little.

"Wally certainly is," Rob, now almost sixteen years old, noted and Artemis could hear the smirk in his voice. She scanned the first floor for Queen Perdita and found the thirteen year old laughing with the team's freckle-faced speedster by the buffet table.

"She sure is having fun," Zatanna muttered into the earpiece.

"Yeah…" Artemis muttered, eyes narrowing ever so slightly, "Fun."

"Girl, do _not_ tell me you're jealous of a thirteen year old," Raquel laughed quietly into the team's communicators. Zatanna and Rob snickered on the link.

"I am not!" Artemis whispered indignantly, "And she's not just a thirteen year old. She's a thirteen year old _queen_!"

"So you're jealous?"

"No! They're just - "

"Team," Kaldur's baritone voice rang through the coms, "Remember. _Undercover_." Artemis sighed and resisted from rolling her eyes.

"Right. Lay low. Got it," she said and resumed scanning the crowds quietly.

It wasn't that she was jealous, in fact, Artemis was quite fond of Queen Perdita. If anything, it was more Wally's fault. _She_ understood that the team had to remain focused and undercover for the night and she knew perfectly well how to execute the facade of a lovely brunette lady who had met Queen Perdita's acquaintance from this salon in that city in Italy and had been close friends with her since then. Details were details. The other members of the team were also familiar with their respective undercover disguises and, paired with individually dyed hair and coloured contacts, performed them exceptionally. It was _Wally_ who Artemis felt wasn't doing a very good job with his story.

Alright, maybe that wasn't very fair. Wally was doing a _fantastic_ job pretending to be one of Queen Perdita's favourite tutors and no one suspected him, which Artemis found hard to believe when she couldn't help but glance over her shoulder every other minute just to look at him. If _she_ was having a hard time keeping her eyes off of him, then shouldn't everyone be watching him hawk-eyed, too?

It was probably the suit.

All the boys were looking rather dapper tonight but it was the first time Artemis had ever seen her boyfriend in a real, pressed silk suit, and she had to say, he looked _fine_ tonight. What Artemis would do to get some skin-on-skin contact with all of that luscious –

Yeah, it was definitely the suit.

"Kal, Zee, I'm just going to go to the bathroom for a bit," she muttered quietly into the team's coms.

"That's what they all say," Zatanna sang quietly and Artemis almost retorted but Kaldur assured her that they had everything under control.

Artemis shut off her com and tried to make her way across the first floor as subtly as possible without making it obvious that she was heading straight towards Wally and Queen Perdita. She knew Zatanna was watching her with what was probably an amused and knowing expression on her face but Artemis didn't look back, refusing to give the sixteen-year-old any satisfaction.

When she reached the buffet table, she touched Wally's arm lightly and called attention to herself with a light cough.

"I beg your pardon, Queen Perdita, could I borrow your tutor for just a moment?" she asked daintily, as part of her disguise. The young queen paused mid-sentence and glanced awkwardly at Wally, who smiled at her uncertainly.

"Team business," Artemis whispered secretively under her breath.

"Oh!" Perdita exclaimed quietly, "Of course, of course. I'll be right here," she said, smiling at the two heroes. Artemis smiled kindly and grabbed Wally's wrist, dragging him quickly up the second floor and into the empty third floor save for a few guests who've obviously lost their way. She ducked into the nearest unoccupied and pulled the nineteen-year-old speedster into the room.

"Turn your com off," she said in a rush. Wally did so while keeping a curious eye on his apparently unstable girlfriend.

"Why exactly have you -" Artemis shushed him and, gripping the front of his suit, pulled him into a vicious kiss. The rest of his sentence was muffled into a strangled moan. He stopped struggling after she ran her tongue along his bottom lip, requesting access to his punch-flavoured mouth. He complied and pressed his fingers on her dress-covered waist tightly as the kiss deepened. Artemis sighed in satisfaction as their mouths moved together in a familiar tango; _this_ was what had been bothering her the whole night. _This_had been what she needed.

With one hand splayed on her waist, Wally pressed his hand against her bottom roughly to close the distant between their groins and Artemis gasped into his open mouth. Before she could retaliate in anger, the same hand found its way up to the side of her head, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear tenderly before cupping her face.

"What happened to undercover?" he gasped the soonest moment their lips parted, his common sense catching up with the recent arrangements.

"Just make it quick," Artemis assured him, pulling his lips back to hers.

"But - Artemis," Wally protested, "the mission –" he was cut off abruptly when he felt her nip just under his left ear, _right there_, in the exact spot that could shut off the rational part of his brain immediately.

"Stop talking, Wally," she commanded, pushing the goddamn jacket off of his shoulders as if it had personally wronged her (which it sort of did, along with the rest of the suit). Wally obeyed and reached for the zipper behind her dress.

Batman was _so_ going to kill them for this.

_They come runnin' just as fast as they can_  
_'cause every girl is crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man._

* * *

Yes, so, this as sexy as I can go when it comes to writing. I mean, the mind is a crazy thing (that imagines the most … delicious scenes) but when it comes to putting things down in words… it's harder than it looks. You can trust I'll get better at Sexy Time in a year. Or two. Or twenty. Rerrghh. In other words, I'm open to comments, laughter and jeering at this little one-shot!


End file.
